July 12th, 2019 was our 5 year anniversary.
In the overall scope of things, 5 years isn't really a long time, but for us it is our first "big" anniversary to celebrate.
I can still remember that perfectly overcast July morning; the ceremony set early so we wouldn't have to suffer through the afternoon heat of a Nebraska summer. I remember details, but I also remember it flying past--the vows and promises made under that beautiful American Elm out in our neighbors field.
We saved our first kiss for that day. Looking back, I don't regret making that choice, but I know that we have since shared sweeter and more special kisses than that first one. I know we are still young--but in our photos I see two kids,19 and 20 years old, promising our lives away to each other.
I haven't regretted it a day.
Five years have seen us in a continual state of growing.
YEAR ONE
We lived our first year in a little basement apartment in North Platte, NE paying $475/mo for rent and working jobs we didn't really like so we could afford that rent. (I take that back, I worked 2 jobs, and A to Z is always going to be one of my favorite jobs I've ever had.) Sam worked for the city as a weed-whacker/lawn-mower for the public parks during the summer and then he worked at a Chinese restaurant as the whitest waiter at an Asian food place ever. :D
We didn't have a washer and dryer so we had to make weekly trips to the in-laws house to wash our uniforms and visit them and their dogs. Sam also worked on his college art projects in the cool space of their basement--he had a 5x4 foot, "comic-strip" painting that he labored for hours on only to have it fly out of the back of his truck on the way to the school and land on the road. Luckily it was still presentable, but I remember a LOT of frustration and anguish over the loss of it's former glory.
When he finally did graduate from our local community college, I had to work during the ceremony, so I missed seeing him walk down and receive his diploma for his Associates of Arts. I was sad that I missed it, but he wasn't; he never was a fan of graduations and finds them too much hassle for minimal excitement.
YEAR TWO
I don't know exactly when we decided to move to Colorado, but I remember the conversation. The prospect was bold, scary even, but exciting. This was a choice we were making together. This was OUR thing. And it was--up to that point--the biggest choice of our married life we had made.
My first impressions of Greeley were, sadly, not the greatest. Everything was new... bigger, unfamiliar. People actually smoked weed here! (Like it never happened illegally in North Platte...) Looking for lodging in this town was a stressful nightmare time crunch. Not only were we attempting to move to a university town at the same time as hundreds of other college students, but we had no jobs or promised financial security for making rent if we did move here--AND we only had a couple days to search the town for someplace to settle. One of the first places we looked was a literal underground, cement-walled "bunker" with one hazy yellow window in the stuffy studio apartment, and a long hallway connecting to a prison-like shower.
They were asking $500/mo for it.
After having a couple meltdowns, many prayers, and some hard conversations, we decided to wait and see what the next day would hold for us. It turned out that Craigslist listings were a little more fruitful, and we found ourselves looking at what became our tiny living space here in the small city of Greeley, Co. Apparently God wanted us to be here--for better or worse.
So, in August 2015--just a month after our first anniversary--We moved ourselves and our earthly belongings out to a new town, in a new state, far from family and friends, and all secure familiar things.
Then we found out that I was pregnant.
I've shared my story with Butterfly so much on social media and other platforms that I won't repeat much of it here other than the rest of 2015 was very HARD. The second year of our marriage had barely begun and we were already facing some of our hardest days together.
It was scary to move with no jobs and no familial support networks nearby.
It was scary to find out we were unexpectedly pregnant after moving to an unfamiliar place.
It was scary to find new friends, a new church, a new social circle after leaving so many ties behind.
And it was scary and so very very hard to eventually have to say goodbye to the baby we had already fallen in love with.
For much of 2015 I felt purposeless and alone. We were home all the time; me--recovering physically and emotionally from my loss, and Sam waiting to hear back from his various job applications. A few days after we found out we had lost Butterfly, Sam got a seasonal job at Gamestop as a cashier. Though it had minimal hours and little pay, we took what we could get.
I tried connecting with various people from church and a small knitting group that I had joined. I was glad to be getting out, but I was still very lonely and longing for deep connections that were hard to find.
In January 2016 both of us started working at Chick-fil-A and I could talk for hours about how that job has changed our lives. CFA was a Godsend--arriving just as our savings were trickling down to the last little bits we had saved up before moving.
YEAR THREE
Fall of 2016 saw Sam entering back into the college world. We had decided to wait to send him back so we could get in-state residency and pay VASTLY less money than we would have if he had just jumped in the year before. At this time we started struggling with balancing work and school life. We now lived in a different apartment in the same apartment building. (So we had "moved" but not really). We had friends now that we hung out with on a regular basis--but we also found out that it is much harder to make friends as adults and as a young married couple.
October found me joining a small micro-publishing company and writing my second book--this time a non-fiction about our miscarriage.
In November we attended a marriage conference in Estes Park and enjoyed getting away to enjoy just being together--it also convinced me that I needed to be praying and seeing my husband through the lens of how GOD sees him.
YEAR FOUR
The Fall and Spring semesters of 2017-2018 had taken a toll on my husband's mental and emotional health. September 2017 he quit CFA to focus on school more, all the while struggling with the prospect of leaving me to work for the two of us.
As the Fall semester of 2018 slowly approached, we had a difficult but necessary conversation about having him take a much-needed break from school. He was burnt out and questioning everything, from his motives for attending college, to his major, to if we could continue to afford another year of classes on only my income. Taking a break was a really hard choice, but it was one we made together. And I have been grateful for the rest and rejuvenation it has provided him with for the work ahead.
July of 2018 saw us traveling down to NE to see Sam's great grandmother for her 98th birthday, and on our 4 year anniversary we were helping my brother set up his apartment and dinner to propose to his beautiful girlfriend. <3
YEAR FIVE
In September of 2018 Sam started working at Hobby Lobby and we have both appreciated the breathing room a little extra money per month has provided us. This last year has seen us busy with work, playing D&D with friends, attending an amazing church, growing as artists and as a couple, preparing for another year of college for Sam in the Fall, and many many blessings and things too numerous to count. I look back at how much we've grown and sharpened each other. I trust my man with my heart and my life and I am thankful to God for these last 5 years of being his.
Our anniversary getaway this year was simple and perfect. We wanted to do "something big" since five years is a more monumental number in our minds--but time and money didn't really allow for anything too crazy. We ended up staying at the Armstrong Hotel in Fort Collins, enjoying the downtown life, and getting a special couple's tattoo that we designed to represent us.
As we look forward to year 6, I hope and pray for more opportunities to grow and find joy in the everyday living. I have no idea what year 6 will end up looking like for us. We will attempt to push Sam through to graduation and after that who knows? The world is ours to discover and figure out together.
I have been so blessed to have my man by my side and to be his wife. Aside from Christ Himself--Sam is my greatest gift and the love of my life. As I told him a few days ago:
"I can't wait for our 21st anniversary so I will have been married to you longer than I haven't been married to you."
I look forward to that day, and to many more.
-RNM
(Photos left to right: Left--The Armstrong Hotel, our romantic and classy getaway for our 5 year anniversary. Built in the 1920s, the current owners have revamped it's decoration and amenities attempting to capture the vibrant, modern, downtown life of Fort Co. while still keeping the historical identity of the original building alive.
Middle--Sam and I got matching tattoos of two leaves crossing, an aspen and a cottonwood. The cottonwood represents me--a Nebraska born and raised girl--cottonwoods are the NE state tree. Aspens are Sam's favorite tree and are very "Coloradan". He is from Colorado at heart--despite having been born in NE--he spent many of his formative years growing up in Co. The tattoo also represents the life we made as a married couple starting in NE and then choosing to move to Greeley, Co in 2015.
Right--The anniversary present Sam drew for me. An art piece showing him and I as adventurers titled "An Elf and His Halfling, Level 5". I love that the piece features some subtle details such as our wedding tree in the background and the butterfly above our heads representing our baby in heaven.)
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